Is sex medically necessary?

As a physician, I encounter many times when a medical treatment or medication is denied by an insurance company saying that it is not medically necessary. Patients get upset since it is hard to understand what this means. By medically necessary, it means that the patient cannot do without the specific treatment. Since insurance companies are for profit, they will try to save money and search for cheaper alternatives for treatments. This brings me to the topic of sex. Many male patients have ED, i.e. erectile dysfunction. Many of them benefit from Viagra or Ciales, medications that treat ED. Most insurance don’t cover these medicines, however, Medicaid, the governments insurance for the poor, covers one pill a month. Other insurances cover up to six pills a month. Every time I prescribe it, I wonder, how did the government come up with having one erection a month, medically necessary? 

Being born must have hurt!

Today I was talking with one of my patients who is in her seventies. She was very preoccupied with death. She was having anticipatory anxiety of the thought of dying. “Will it hurt?” she wondered.  I honestly don’t know. As far as I am concerned, I have not been dead yet. But this made me think of what I’ve experienced in the past. As far as we know, everyone on this Earth has been born, and for sure, we will all die someday. I’ve never seen a corpse in pain. However, I’ve seen hundreds of people that are alive in pain. This made me think of the miracle of birth. Think about this for a second. Fetuses feel pain intrauterine. This has been proven by sonogram studies. Pinch a fetus intrauterine, and it will react to pain. Then imagine an eight pound baby coming through the birth canal. The cervix can dilate up to ten centimeters. Go get a ruler and see how small ten centimeters is. Can you visualize all the squeezing this baby has to go through to poke its head out to the World? Once it does get out, the baby starts screaming his heart out. People surrounding the baby are full of joy, but have you ever thought how the baby feels? I bet if you started pinching the baby, he would react to pain. After thinking about this for awhile, I thought that no one I know ever remembers the day they were born or recalls any pain associated with this. Some can argue that the under developed brain of the baby cannot make an association of the feeling of pain since it has not felt pain before. Most of our emotions are learned throughout our lives. Pain must have been the first one!

Golden Handcuffs.

I've met many women that have gone through a divorce after many years of marriage. They had supported their husbands in their careers, raised their children and grown old by their side. Then one day, the husband announces that he is confused, needs his space and eventually, needs to move on. This takes many women by surprise because this was not expected. They go through a long, and sometimes, nasty divorce. At the end, they may get permanent alimony plus half of the marital asserts. This is when it gets tricky. These women think they have "won" because their ex husband has to "pay" for leaving them. Even if they get a "lump sum" alimony, they tend to go back asking for more money, feeling that they have been cheated. I call these the golden handcuffs. Let me tell you about "Laura". Laura is a fictitious name that encompasses some of these women. Laura was 52. She had been married to Bill for 20 years and had a 18 year old daughter. She was looking forward to when her daughter would leave for college since Bill and her could start enjoying more traveling together. One day Bill told her that he didn't want to stay in the marriage. After several months of marital therapy, he moved out and eventually divorced her. She was awarded with the house, and a mortgage attached to it, and $5,000.00 of alimony a month to support herself. This seemed like a sweet deal but she  quickly realized that the amount of money she got a month, barely covered the mortgage and house expenses. She started growing bitter because she felt cheated of what she felt she deserved. Laura was a very attractive woman that looked younger than her age. However, she was unable to let go of her anger. She started to isolate herself from others and would not date in fear of having the same fate happen to her again. She would also say that she was not willing to get married again since she was not about to lose her alimony. Years passed, and her ex husband remarried and had a child, starting a new family. Laura continued alone. She would go to social parties of old friends who were still married. She went to their children's, weddings, birthday parties and grandchildren christenings.Every time any one suggested she go on with her life she would say that she was not going to lose her alimony. Going on with her life did not necessary mean lose the alimony. It meant let go and move on. Ten years gave gone by and Laura continues alone. She has lost some of her looks and the opportunities to find a decent partner had decreased. Every time a decent man approaches her, she finds something wrong with him. Most of her friends have moved on with their own lives and she is very lonely.

About this Blog.

This is the first blog of Arlene MD; thoughts and reflexions. The goal is to inspire others to see the beauty and positive in every situation they may encounter. Every day of my professional career is working with people who do not know how to see that the glass is half full and not half empty. No matter how bad things may seem, there is always something worse that can happen. Your specific situation could be worse so lets be happy that it's not. Having said that, lets try to change the things you can and accept the ones you can not change. If you are caught in a bad relationship, realize that you can not change an other persons behavior but you can change yours. If you are unhappy, don't waste your time trying to change the other person, just change your own. Either stay or leave, but do what is in your control and live with your decision in peace with yourself. This applies to all areas of life: work, family, friends, spouses, children, parents and so on. Another thing I will write about in future blogs is how people tend to hold on to grudges. It amazes me how people live in the past. Sometimes people are bitter and angry about past life events while the other person involved doesn't seem to care or even know that they have caused hurt or damage to them. Who is wasting their time? You are! Feel free to comment about your own positive experiences. If you don't have anything positive to say, don't say it.There is a saying, "If you spit upward, you will get wet". So read and enjoy!